Flexibility

"May you master the art of accepting surprises and landing gracefully." 

I've been reminded a few times in the past week that life perpetually requires you to be flexible. Does anyone feel like they were born with this trait? The ability to be knocked off course without feeling defeated or like chaos abounded? I can absolutely assure you that I was not born that way.

A few years ago I tried to internalize a "go with the flow" attitude. I distinctly remember being in my apartment in Atlanta and having the realization that life is going to happen...no matter what I try to do to control it. This is true of everything but...in that moment, I realized that the only thing I could control was my attitude. I vividly remember thinking "what happens if I get a flat tire on my way to work tomorrow? Who am I going to call?!" After feeling a little bit of anxiety realizing that my family wouldn't be able to save me from 9 hours away, I decided that I couldn't live like that and I needed to free myself of it. I have the skills to problem solve, to take care of myself, and be to resourceful. So, I renewed my subscription to AAA :)

In all seriousness though, I think being able to go with the flow and having the ability to be flexible is a key component to living in the moment. It is something that I have to remind myself of a lot. This week has been a prime example. When I'm faced with change, my immediate reaction is to be the opposite of flexible. No matter how much I try, I do not like change. Flexibility requires a shift in mindset for me, depending on the situation. Being flexible about a restaurant for dinner is a little less challenging than changes in the workplace, but both require a decision. Life will go on regardless of if we throw a tantrum about it or not. We might as well attempt to be pleasant and go with the flow. Learning to be flexible, in my opinion, sets us up for greater success and more fun along the way. I'm not discounting the setback of challenge, but in situations where flexibility is a necessity and a lifeline, a lot of fun and growth can happen in between discomfort and solution.

Courage

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

I am a big fan of quotes...they typically convey truth that I just can't put words around. This one, in particular, is NEVER untrue in my life. Ever. Never has been and I would put money on the fact that it never will be. Getting out of that comfort zone takes huge amounts of courage though...and that is almost always a little bit scary. For me, sometimes the littlest things take courage. I become seriously uncomfortable driving to a new place in a city if I don't know where I will be able to park my car. Dating takes SERIOUS courage and although I enjoy meeting new people, sometimes you have to do so in uncomfortable ways. Creating something new at work...scary. Trying a new restaurant even can be outside of your comfort bubble. 

Think about it though...the greatest rewards always come from the steps that are the greatest leaps from comfort. Moving away from home (twice...farther and farther! ugh.) has completely transformed my social circle, my inner circle, my hopes, dreams, aspirations, confidence level, happiness tactics, likes, dislikes, hobbies...the list goes on. My comfort zone is safe. It does not stretch me. It contains the same people and quickly repels new friends. Comfort is easy. Comfort never requires change. Comfort is rarely exciting and is boring to share. Comfort stunts growth and therefore...truly living. 

I think it is a really good challenge to take one uncomfortable step a day. Try something new at your favorite restaurant, call a friend you've lost touch with, try out forgiveness, take a new route home, make plans to skydive, plan a vacation, admit to fault, move, let someone read your writing, ask questions, take a cooking class, try yoga, stop doing things that make you unhappy...no matter how comfortable. Be bold. The rewards can be huge. You owe it to yourself. 

"Of course it's not enough to sit around wanting to be happy; you must make the effort to take steps towards happiness by acting with more love, finding work you enjoy, and all the rest. But for me, asking myself whether I was happy had been a crucial step toward cultivating my happiness more wisely through my actions. Also, only through recognizing my happiness did I really appreciate it. Happiness depends partly on external circumstances, and it also depends on how you view those circumstances." 

- The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

A good friend and colleague of mine gave me this book to read towards the beginning of this year. She realized that I was on a quest to embrace life and to make the most of my current situations. I still haven't finished it. It is too good to rush through. Above all, it has taught me that we are in control of our own states of happiness. Although circumstances may be uncontrollable, there are endless ways that we can influence the way that we feel and it is up to us to make those things happen. Although I don't have quite the structure that she does, my happiness project has been fun. 

Self-discovery is endless but sometimes, it takes us far too long to take those first steps. The only thing waiting is happiness...go for it. Do more of what makes you smile, only surround yourself with people who serve you in some way, pour a glass of wine, and never stop asking yourself if you are actually happy. Small adjustments (for me - new picture frames, new candles, a glimpse of the ocean, skyping with friends/family, exercising, asking for what I need, spending time at Starbucks, shared experiences) help to create new habits and attitudes which eventually transform a semi-happy life, to an abundantly happy life. 

Hint: first stop...pick up a copy of the book :)