Timing is Everything

"Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm." -Brene Brown 

I think that one of the greatest realizations that a 20 something can have is that timing is EVERYTHING. We need to learn to wait. We may never know exactly what we are waiting for, but we need to learn to be still and to calmly wait...something that is generally counterintuitive to my generation. 

Everyone is constantly searching for something. For me right now, it is direction for my upcoming job search and  love (duh). Also, the anticipation of the busyness of the coming academic year is pushing me towards August. What I know though is that I need to make myself calm down about it all. Do I want answers now? Yes. Does it give me anxiety to not know where ill be living in a year? Yep. That sure isn't helping me figure it out though.

I've done lots of thinking in 2013 and I've searched for ways to live in the moment...this moment...before it is gone (my New Years resolution). I need to realize what a blessing it is to be able to wait. To be able to soak in all of these moments because they are molding me into exactly who I need to be by the time I find what I'm looking for. That takes time. There is a reason we don't find our dream jobs at 20 years old - we weren't ready (and maybe still aren't). Rushing puts us in situations that are not perfect...situations that feel forced, that eventually make us feel lost and like we jumped the gun too quickly. Waiting helps us to weigh our options, to embrace what feels natural when we see it, and to remain happy throughout the process. Sometimes, it seems that waiting is a prerequisite to a fulfilling change. 

I will never claim that waiting is easy (ha!) but I've seen how much timing is key. The right moment, the right people, the right opportunity, the right place...they all appear at the right time. Even if sometimes it feels that life happens fast, my best decisions have come out of a period of waiting...this could be due to my reflective nature and need for ample time to make a decision (I'm still trying to decide what flavor to put in the coffee I had an hour ago) or it could be because waiting allowed for timing to take its course. I waited for my first job and I waited YEARS before deciding to pursue a graduate degree - turns out those were two of the very best decisions I've ever made. I've had friends wait for job offers...frustrated by the fruitless efforts of their searches only to get offers for their dream jobs just a few weeks later. 

Wait.

 Life will happen and pieces will fall into place at its own pace, regardless of how we think they should fit together. At the same time, this doesn't give us license to be lazy, although waiting is productive in its own way. So, here's to getting out there, doing something that may help indecision, and calmly embracing the wait. Let time be the guide. 

These are the words that I have used most often in all of my posts on Facebook. I love words in general so... it makes me smile just to look at them!

 See yours at WolframAlpha.com - make sure you have a good chunk of time :)

Hospitality

 "Hospitality is love in action."

I am in the midst of a 6 week internship in Boston. I am thankful for the opportunity - the city is SO fun, I love being able to walk everywhere, I appreciate being able to experience a different institutional environment, and know that this will be a summer that I will always remember. Mostly, though, I am so thankful for the opportunity to meet new people and for the incredible hospitality that I have been shown. 

You know how you are taught the golden rule and that you should always treat people how you wish to be treated? It is always so nice and refreshing when you meet people who take that seriously and are just...nice. I was immediately included in the community here and have been invited by many professional staff members to watch movies, eat dinner, explore the city, etc. I was set-up in an apartment (for free), given a very generous meal plan, offered extra pillows and blankets, and have been shown genuine friendship in just one short week. The students have taken time to ask me questions, to understand my situation, and to educate me on their experiences...knowing that they are much different than my own. Although it has become cliché , that golden rule is so key...and it is so nice when you encounter people that really take it just as seriously as you do.

Their hospitality means the world to me!

The way that people come in and out of our lives is fascinating (another post on that sure to come). It makes my heart happy to think that the people I have met here have left a mark on me forever. I hope I can do the same!

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you do not have. Remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

It is so hard to solely focus on the things that we have. Society is always focused on getting more of what we don't have. Focusing on the holes in your "I want" tank slowly makes the things that you do have less shiny. Your attention is continually drawn to the areas of life that seem dull when, in all reality, the beauty of life is extremely bright. 

Looking back, it always amazes me how it seems like my life has been so well planned. Here's a secret...I feel like I've kinda just stumbled along and put the pieces in place as I've tripped along. It is beautiful though. Everything just seems to make sense and is meant to be. What is harder to see (or to remember) are all the times that life did not at all seem to make sense. All those times that I felt hurt, heartbroken, or fearful of the future. Isn't it true that, although you know you lived through those, you mostly remember happy memories? Why can't we do that in the moment? Day-to-day, it is SO easy (and often a human default setting) to obsess about the bad, wish for something more, and forget that where we are today will, very soon, be part of that beautiful road that we can see looking back...it will all seem to make perfect sense. 

There are a million things very comforting about that. Maybe (definitely) focusing on the sunshine of every day can make it even sweeter.

A Happiness Journey

I turned 26 about a month ago. In December, when I realized that my birthday was "coming up," I also realized that, for some reason, 26 was meeting me with some anxiety. I know that this is not old, and the fact that I am nowhere near on my way to marriage is totally fine (repeat, repeat, repeat), and that being in graduate school is an absolute success at any age, but, as many things do, my birthday made me extremely reflective...on many things that I do not have, it seems.

That day has come and gone and with the help of my friends and family, I have been able to transform my attitude to one of gratitude and happiness. Another year? What a tremendous blessing. My life should be celebrated and I should be the first to realize that, using one day a year to evaluate just how much I have been given. It is incredible and humbling.

I just finished my first year in a master's program. Said program has amplified my ability to be self-aware and I've realized that I've adopted (or maybe more accurate - defined) a new lease on life and that is the purpose of this blog. I've realized that happiness is really a journey and that the things that make me happy will ebb and flow. I also know that largely, I am in control of my own happiness and I need to act as such.

There are beautiful things, friends, students, colleagues, weather, books, etc. that inspire me to not only be better, but to be ME every day. These are the things that I want to share. I've been prompted and inspired to focus on what makes me happy in this new year of life and to continually better myself throughout the process. Knowing that I try to love fiercely, enjoy building relationships, and attempt to be selfless, making myself happy should only benefit those around me.

Welcome to the journey- buckle up! :)