Life Lessons. Love, Tampa.

Two years ago, when I was leaving Atlanta, I created this list of things that I learned while living there. Now, two weeks out from my next interstate move, I came up with my Tampa list. I'm not sure if it was living in the sunshine state, being in graduate school, or moving out of my mid-twenties, but this season of life taught me more about myself than any before. This list is not anywhere near comprehensive, nor have I mastered these…but I'm thankful regardless.

1. Figure out what makes you happy and do more of it.
2. I value a purposeful life over almost everything else.
3. Life is funny, unpredictable, and sometimes hard, but there is not a lot I can do to control it. Enjoying the ride requires flexibility and gratitude.
4. Sometimes, it is okay to just live one minute at a time even if you wish life had a fast forward button.
5. There is NO common path and no one can tell you what decisions to make. Only you know what is best for you. It takes practice to be able to this confidently.
6. I want a life full of small adventure, love, and laughter.
7. People actually look up to me (what?) and I've learned to treat that as a responsibility. It keeps me honest.
8. My gut is smarter than my head and my heart.
9. When life feels difficult, it's okay to truly feel those emotions, but at some point, you need to let go and make yourself happier. It is unproductive to live in slumps.
10. I've learned a lot about asking for what I need and balancing that with my tendency to be a people-pleaser.
11. There comes a point when you have to decide whose opinions really matter and who you will allow to impact your life. I need trusted people to give me well-timed pep talks, to share in my joy, and to ask the right questions, but those things from the wrong people are NOT helpful.
12. There really are no rules and we have to figure out how to create our own stories. Although it sometimes doesn't feel this way, we actually have a lot of freedom to do so - we just have to make the commitment.
13. I need spontaneous people in my world who are able to throw out their plans on a whim.
14. Be a team player. It is better when people don't have to ask you to show up because they're already familiar with your reliability.
15. I'm thankful to have learned what true, healthy relationships really look like and I vow never to go backwards.

In just two short years, I feel like I experienced a lot of life. I've seen success, learned about change, been through heartbreak, growth, and joy, and earned a new degree. Honestly, I'm not really ready to let it all go…but then maybe that is a lesson in itself. I'm prepared to move on and it is best to do so before reaching a state of complacency. 

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning." 

- Ivy Baker Priest

Little Moments

"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different?" - C.S. Lewis

It is interesting that as you get older, life tends to make more sense. Not sense in that we have all the answers, but in the way that order emerges out of our young-self messes. You learn the lesson that everything happens for a reason, that the world will not simply hand you what you want, and that you are in charge of your own happiness. I learned another one of those little cliche lessons this past week - life can change in just {one} moment. In just one interaction, one phone call, one email, one drive, one step…one moment, everything can suddenly be different. This is one of those things that we all know but, have you ever really thought about that? 

You know what is even better than that though? To realize that, in actuality, that moment is the sum of many moments before that. It is serious validation that everything you've done up to this point was a step in the right direction, even if it felt like a step in the dark or a leap of faith. It suddenly becomes so clear that even though we endure hard days/weeks/months, that all of those little moments were working together for your greatest good, if you let them. It makes those impossible days worth it. Whether they served the purpose of changing your attitude, toughening your skin, or just creating space for God's ultimate plan, I have to believe that they have purpose. 

The scary thing is that all of this requires action from us. We cannot just sit around and hope that the little moments become one that changes us forever. We have to make intentional choices every single day and have the hope that they will pay off. We have to get up, we have to apply, we have to say "yes" to some things and "no" to others. We have to breakup, we have to allow ourselves to be loved, we have to work hard, and we have to be brave enough to change our plans sometimes. We have to persevere. We have to defy uncertainty and be decisive, knowing that one day, we will make it -whatever that means- and that, finally, the journey will all make sense and it will be beautiful. 

I don't know about you, but that gives me a heavy dose of hope and love for life. It also makes me so thankful for each tiny little moment. It makes me want to embrace each second and to share them widely. These culminating moments are such a blessing and I am thankful that my eyes have been opened to how they are painting our stories…and are making us better forever. 

Congrats, CSA.

In the scope of graduate school, tomorrow is a pretty big day. Comprehensive exams. I have spent the past three weeks refreshing and (in some cases) relearning, all of the material that I have digested over the past 1.5 years. We've learned a lot...and looking at it all together, it's clear that we actually KNOW a lot...mountains more than we did at the start. I'm proud of that, but what I think is more impactful is the knowledge that I've gained that cannot be accurately portrayed on a written exam.

I could make a pretty long list, but something that is undeniable to me is that I've gained a much greater ability to consider perspectives alternate to my own (I'll refrain from applying theory here). My mind has expanded and I can feel that it has more space to consider opinions that are opposite mine, to love people who have come from places I will never see (both physically and mentally), and to just generally find the good in all people and situations. The cliche phrase "someone is always fighting a harder battle" has personified itself in my students, classmates, and colleagues and that makes me thankful for them and for all that has led me to this day. I can tell that I am still new at this though. I sometimes have to fight to consider where someone is coming from, often have to "fix my face" when I disagree, and have to overcome my own unfair judgments. I stumble all the time, but this isn't something that gets mastered.

When I committed to entering this program almost 2 years ago to the day, I had no idea that this would be one of my greatest lessons. I expected to learn student development theories. I knew that I would have the opportunity to build relationships and I knew that I would be pushed and challenged. I hoped that I would experience leadership retreats and a dynamic staff environment. Those expectations have all been surpassed, but I did not know that almost under the table, my heart would grow, my mind would become more well-rounded, and that together, they almost became more human...or maybe just helped me become more me. 

So, congratulations, CSA program. I think you've won...and my little student affairs loving, comps-fearing heart is thankful.