In the scope of graduate school, tomorrow is a pretty big day. Comprehensive exams. I have spent the past three weeks refreshing and (in some cases) relearning, all of the material that I have digested over the past 1.5 years. We've learned a lot...and looking at it all together, it's clear that we actually KNOW a lot...mountains more than we did at the start. I'm proud of that, but what I think is more impactful is the knowledge that I've gained that cannot be accurately portrayed on a written exam.
I could make a pretty long list, but something that is undeniable to me is that I've gained a much greater ability to consider perspectives alternate to my own (I'll refrain from applying theory here). My mind has expanded and I can feel that it has more space to consider opinions that are opposite mine, to love people who have come from places I will never see (both physically and mentally), and to just generally find the good in all people and situations. The cliche phrase "someone is always fighting a harder battle" has personified itself in my students, classmates, and colleagues and that makes me thankful for them and for all that has led me to this day. I can tell that I am still new at this though. I sometimes have to fight to consider where someone is coming from, often have to "fix my face" when I disagree, and have to overcome my own unfair judgments. I stumble all the time, but this isn't something that gets mastered.
When I committed to entering this program almost 2 years ago to the day, I had no idea that this would be one of my greatest lessons. I expected to learn student development theories. I knew that I would have the opportunity to build relationships and I knew that I would be pushed and challenged. I hoped that I would experience leadership retreats and a dynamic staff environment. Those expectations have all been surpassed, but I did not know that almost under the table, my heart would grow, my mind would become more well-rounded, and that together, they almost became more human...or maybe just helped me become more me.
So, congratulations, CSA program. I think you've won...and my little student affairs loving, comps-fearing heart is thankful.
